What is domestic abuse?

Lots of people think domestic abuse means physical violence but is it often so much more than that. Domestic abuse includes:

Types of abuse

Emotional abuse

Psychological abuse

Physical abuse

Digital & online abuse

Sexual abuse

Economic abuse

Coercive & controlling behaviour

Violent or threatening behaviour

Stalking & harassment

Who is affected?

To find out more about different types of abuse or who can be affected by domestic abuse, please click the links below:

Domestic abuse happens between intimate partners or family members. It might not be easy to identify domestic abuse at first. While some relationships are clearly abusive from the outset, in other relationships, abuse often starts subtly and gets worse over time. Domestic abuse isn’t a one off – it usually a pattern of behaviour, and the abuser will try different things to gain control.

Often the abuser will tell the victim that it is their fault that they are behaving this way and that the victim is making them act like this. This is not true. The abuser says this to make them feel responsible and guilty so that they have more control over the victim. The abuser might also tell the victim it’s just because they love them, but love is never an excuse to treat someone this way. If abuse happens, it is never okay.

If something doesn't feel right in your relationship - talk to us.

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What is domestic abuse?

I feel trapped and alone

I've left them but it doesn't stop

I have nowhere to go

I feel like I'm walking on eggshells

They control everything

Sound familiar?

If something doesn't feel right in your relationship, it probably isn't. If you're not sure, give us a call and we can talk to you about your situation. Find out more about what happens when you contact us by going to our 'How we can help' page:

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What happens when you call?

Who is affected?

Women

Women are more likely to be subjected to domestic abuse than men. According to the ONS Crime Survey, 29% of women have been victims of domestic abuse in their adult lifetime [1]. This means on average, more than 1 in 4 women have been subjected to domestic abuse in the UK.

Domestic abuse perpetrated by men against women is rooted in women’s unequal status in society and is part of the wider social problem of male violence against women and girls.

Whilst both men and women may experience incidents of domestic abuse, women are considerably more likely to experience multiple, repeated and severe forms of abuse, including sexual violence. Women are also more likely to be subjected to coercive and controlling behaviour, and to fear the abuser.

Women can also be victims of different forms of abuse including forced marriage, female genital mutilation and so-called 'honour-based' abuse. Women might be subjected to abuse from one or more family members, as well as current or ex-partners. The abuser could be male or female.

WWIN provide support for female victims of domestic abuse, no matter what their situation is. Find out more about how we can help:

[1] Office for National Statistics (ONS), released 25 November 2022, ONS website, statistical bulletin, Domestic abuse in England and Wales overview: November 2022

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Disabled People

Disabled people are more than twice as likely to be subjected to domestic abuse than non-disabled people [1]. Often their abuser might also be their care-giver, and disabled victims can face additional barriers to getting help.

Disabled people have many of the same experiences as non-disabled people. However, there are specific issues that can affect disabled people and specific tactics that may be used by a perpetrator against a disabled person.

These can include:

Limiting your independence by taking/hiding/damaging equipment such as sensory and mobility aids.
Not letting you have access to important care, medication or food.
Putting up obstacles and hazards so that you are afraid or unable to move around.
Being nasty about your disabilities and symptoms to try and humiliate you.
Claiming your disability benefits but not letting you have the money or spending it in a way you’d like.
Threatening to tell social services that you are not fit to live alone or that you aren’t capable of looking after your children.
Touching you sexually without permission when they are supposed to be helping you, or being very rough with you.
Giving you too much medication or using physical restraints against you.
Telling you that you are hard work, and that no-one else would want to care for you.
Not giving you any privacy or space to be by yourself.

All abuse is serious. For some disabled people it is more difficult to ask for support because there are additional barriers to accessing services and support.

At WWIN our services will work with you to make sure that you have access to further support if required. Find out more about how we can help:

SignHealth also provides domestic abuse service support for deaf people in British Sign Language (BSL), they can be contacted on 020 3947 2601 or signhealth.org.uk/with-deaf-people/domestic-abuse

[1] Office for National Statistics (ONS), released 25 November 2022, ONS website, statistical bulletin, Domestic abuse in England and Wales overview: November 2022

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LGBT+ Communities

Sometimes people think that domestic abuse only occurs within long-term heterosexual relationships. The truth is, domestic abuse can happen in all types of relationships, regardless of sexuality and gender. This includes same sex relationships and relationships where one or both partners are trans.

Many of the issues that LGBT+ people face in relation to domestic abuse are similar to those faced in heterosexual relationships. However, there are specific issues that can affect LGBT+ people and specific tactics that may be used by a perpetrator in an LGBT+ relationship.

These can include:

Threatening to disclose your romantic or sexual orientation, gender identity, gender history, or HIV status without your consent.

Coercive and controlling behaviour around your romantic or sexual orientation and/or gender identity.

Pressuring you to keep your identity or relationship secret.

Denying that LGBT+ people in intimate relationships can experience domestic abuse.

Isolating you from family, friends, and the LGBT+ community.

Undermining your romantic or sexual orientation and/or gender identity.

Using your hormones or gender-affirming medication to control.

Trying to change or supress your orientation or gender identity.

LGBT+ people may be manipulated into believing that there is no help available to them because they are LGBT+. They may also be told that abusive behaviours are ‘normal’ in LGBT+ relationships, or that LGBT+ people cannot experience domestic abuse. Abuse from family members is sometimes not recognised as abuse and written off as a ‘family dispute’ or having ‘different values’.

LGBT+ people experiencing domestic abuse might also feel that domestic abuse services are not for them or may not understand what has happened to them.

Here at WWIN we want everyone to know that our services are open to everyone regardless of gender or sexuality. If you're worried about your relationship - talk to us to find out how we can help.

Galop also provides specialist support for LGBT+ victims of domestic abuse, they can be contacted on 0800 999 5428 or www.galop.org.uk.

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Children & young people

Children and young people are impacted by domestic abuse, even if they don’t see or hear the abuse happening. For some, it’s difficult to make sense of and they may need some help. Every child is different and the effects of living with domestic abuse will be different too.

Living in a home where domestic abuse happens can have a serious impact on a child or young person's mental and physical wellbeing, as well as their behaviour. The effects of this can last into adulthood. Our children and young person’s service offers one-to-one counselling, group sessions and work with the child and non-abusive parent. Each child has different needs, and we can help with a range of areas.

If you know a child or young person who may find this service beneficial, get in touch with us to discuss this further or request a referral form by emailing: enquiries@wwin.org.uk

Men

Domestic abuse is often seen as a women’s issue, because statistically women are disproportionally subjected to domestic abuse, and abuse is disproportionately perpetrated by men. However, anybody can be a victim or a perpetrator of domestic abuse, and many men are also affected by domestic abuse.

Some patterns of abuse may be similar to that of female victims, but often men's experiences of abuse are different and they also experience different barriers to seeking support. Men's experiences might be impacted by gender stereotypes and harmful expectations around masculinity.

Domestic abuse is never the victim's fault and it is always okay to ask for help. WWIN provide support and advice for male victims of domestic abuse. Find out more about how we can help:

Respect Men’s Advice Line also provides specialist support for male victims of domestic abuse, they can be contacted on 0808 8010327 or mensadviceline.org.uk

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Black and minoritised people

Image of woman wearing a hijab and holding a mobile phone

People from Black and minoritised communities often experience abuse within a context of further discrimination and racism. In particular, Black and minoritised women often face multiple and intersecting barriers to accessing support and appropriate services.

Migrant women might also be faced with complex immigration issues, no recourse to public funds, racial discrimination and harassment, hate crime and economic exploitation.

Many of the issues that Black and minoritised victims face in relation to domestic abuse are similar to those faced by white victims. However, there are specific barriers that can prevent Black and minoritised victims from getting help, such as fear of stereotyping or racism from services, language barriers, fear of deportation due to immigration or asylum status or concerns that children will be taken away.

There are also specific tactics that may be used by a perpetrator, including:

Telling you that services won't believe you or help you because of your identity.
Telling you that you will be reinforcing negative stereotypes about your community if you try to seek help.
Telling you that you will be deported if you try and seek help.
Hiding or destroying your passport or other legal documents, or lying about having completed paperwork relating to immigration status.
Exploiting language barriers and/or preventing you from learning or improving your English.

Black and minoritised women can also be victims of different forms of abuse including forced marriage, female genital mutilation and so-called 'honour-based' abuse. They might be subjected to abuse from one or more family members, as well as current or ex-partners.

WWIN provide support for Black and minoritised victims of domestic abuse and can access interpreter support for some cases. You are not alone, if you're worried talk to us. Find out more about how we can help:

Imkaan has a comprehensive list of 'by and for' support organisations for Black and minoritised women which can be found here: imkaan.org.uk/get-help

Karma Nirvana also provides specialist support for victims of honour-based abuse, forced marriage and domestic abuse, and can be contacted on 0800 5999 247 or karmanirvana.org.uk

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Domestic Abuse is a gendered crime, which means that statistically more women are victims of domestic abuse and more men are perpetrators of domestic abuse. However, anybody can be a victim or a perpetrator of domestic abuse. At WWIN we support anyone subjected to domestic abuse regardless of sex, gender, race, ethnic or religious group, sexuality, class, or disability.

Click the tabs below for more information:

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Domestic abuse is never the victim's fault.

Who is affected

Types of abuse

These are just some forms of domestic abuse and some examples of tactics that abusers will use to control their victim. More than anything domestic abuse is about one person having power and control over another.